Search
  • Kayleigh Shuler

What Do You Really Want?




On Monday, we experienced a Solar Eclipse in Sagittarius (which happens to be my moon sign), so I took some time in the evening to shut off my phone and tune into my body. I turned the lights low and played soft music, and I journaled (spell check is trying to tell me that journaled is not a word, but it definitely is on my blog so I'm keeping it) with a simple, po

werful prompt:


What do you really want?


Not:

“What are your goals?”

Or,

“What’s a realistic way to change your life right now?”

Or,

“What should you be doing more of?”

But,


What do you really want?


It begs truth and nothing less. It gets at the core of your being, intriguing the little kid in you and asking you to set aside ego, fear or too much thought entirely. Simply:


What do you really want?


Sitting down and asking myself this question feels so indulgent and exciting. I find myself asking it in a whisper; the way you tell someone that you might’ve just fallen in love, or that you have a big idea that feels too crazy for human consumption. It’s loaded with fear and self doubt and giddiness. It’s the desire so many of us have been taught not to heed.


What do you really want?


Writing through and past what I tell myself I “should” want and what I “should” write eventually gets me to my truth. After writing and answering the question “What do you really want??” literally 5 times, I finally arrive at this:


I want to seek and chase the fun, and to allow myself to feel worthy of receiving whatever follows that fun.


I’m starting to understand, lately, that we will excel at whatever we are passionate about.

Especially as an artist, it almost feels involuntary. If I am in love with the purpose of a project, with the story it’s telling or the way I hope it will impact you, the consumer, it feels intuitive to give it my all. It fulfills me, and I am discovering that the feelings of fulfillment and success are synonymous for me. To me, success is a feeling. The warm heart, buzzy brain, skip-in-my-step feeling. Life is too out of control for me to be able to fully equate success with any material or concrete thing. Fulfillment and success come via the feeling of fun: my favorite feeling.


What’s fun for me is relating to you; connecting with you; deepening my understanding of you. You fascinate me, because there is no one in this entire world just like you. Everything that has made you who you are is in everything you say and do. Every time someone says that something I’ve written made them feel seen, or unlocked something in them, or deepened their understanding of something, I get that feeling of success. Knowing that you and I have connected and made sense of something gives me purpose.


So, I wonder:


What do you really want?


I challenge you to carve a sliver of time out of your day today to ask yourself this question, and please, don’t limit yourself to the realm of possibility. You extend so far beyond that.


Make your desires known, most importantly, to yourself.


Your messy friend,

Kayleigh


Ps- peep above and below my fun manifesto post-it for little glimpses of future conversations here on the blog.


8 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All
  • Facebook Classic
  • Vimeo Classic

© 2023 by Andi Banks. Proudly created with Wix.com